It was somewhere between 3am and 4am, in the loneliness of the night between Monday and Tuesday. F had finally stopped throwing up and was getting some rest. J had also stopped throwing up, but had no interest in rest. I was worn out, still throwing up too much to get any rest, and not thinking very clearly. In the corner of our den is J’s little table, where she likes to color and eat her snacks. She’s not allowed to climb up on top of it, so of course she frequently does if she feels that we’re not paying attention to her. I walked over to the table and flipped it upside down so she couldn’t climb up. Then I turned on Sesame Street. Then I wrapped myself in a sheet, checked that the baby gates were all closed, and dozed on the floor while J clambered around on the couch and played with her toys and frequently just leaned up against me, presumably watching the television. I occasionally lifted myself up enough for another puking session, which would get J very excited. She would point at my bowl and exclaim, “Da! Da! Da!!” as my empty guts tried to empty themselves further. I would rinse out what little was in the bowl, then lie back down. Rinse, repeat. Why didn’t I wake up F? I have no idea. How long was I there? No idea. When the TV stopped making noise, I selected a new episode. I did that a couple times. I was definitely a little delirious, possibly slightly feverish.

And so it is that we hit a number of milestones all at once:

– We experienced having the whole family sick with the stomach flu, and somehow survived and took care of the kid.

– We experienced both parents being ungodly sick while the baby felt fine, and still managed to keep her fed and her diaper changed and she didn’t get injured.

– I used the TV as a babysitter. I knew it would happen eventually. I knew there would come a time when I had to turn on the TV and just let it go. My friend Beth is always reminding me that sometimes parenthood is not about being perfect but about being enough. And this week, I embraced enough for the first time. I don’t feel bad about it. She was safe, she was happy, and when I thought I might be able to not puke for a couple hours, she was ready to go back to bed.


On a happier note, we also hit the point where she can indicate assent! She hasn’t quite figured out how to nod her head yes, but she’ll kind of bounce her whole body up and down a little when you ask her a question and she is affirmative in her answer.

I think I’ve also already mentioned that she now loves to spin until she’s dizzy, then stagger around until she falls down. The whole times she’s doing it she goes, “Wowwwwww!” I need to get a video before it stops. I’m still sad that I never got a good video of the step step game.