So, I announced I was pregnant, I wrote a few posts, and then I disappeared. When I started this blog, my plan was for it to be all about the wonder and joy of bringing a new life into the world, blah blah blah.

The truth is, I’ve been miserable. Unrelenting morning sickness which is completely resistant to ginger, mint, cinnamon, saltines, grapes, regular small proteins, and every other suggestion I’ve gotten. I’ve been exhausted and sleeping on the order of 12-14 hours a day. I’ve been terrified of miscarriage and twins and everything in between. I’ve felt like I should be excited but instead I’ve just been scared and overwhelmed. In short, the first 15 weeks were just not what I expected. I didn’t want to write about it, and I’m quite sure you didn’t want to read about it.

And now we enter week 16. According to my weekly almost-spam email, the baby is the size of an avocado and has toenails:

avocado with toenails poorly photoshopped on

What my baby looks like RIGHT NOW

Last time I got an ultrasound (about 3 weeks ago) I was able to make out more than a white blob. I was able to see arms and a jawbone, so I’m pretty sure it’s not actually an avocado. Whew!

In general, things are starting to look up for me. My first trimester screening (for risk factors on various trisomies) came back awesome. I had my first group prenatal appointment (more about that in a minute) and all measurements pointed to everything being normal and healthy. I’m starting to show a little bit, and for some reason that’s making a huge difference in my mental state. I’ve gotten a few “glowing” comments, and my nausea is receding to intermittent. I’m finding effective ways to cope with my forgetfulness. And did I mention I had my first group prenatal appointment? I’m going to start calling it “Centering,” since that’s what the birthing center calls it.

The idea is, you meet with the same group of first-time expecting parents every month, with 2-3 midwives there to lead discussion and teach stuff. At the beginning of this two hour appointment, the couples all sit around on couches and comfy chairs sharing snacks while people are brought back one by one (well, two by two) to have a doppler listen, weight and fundal height (yeah, I had to look that up) check, etc etc. The idea is to keep all but the most personal questions until the group session, so that other people with the same questions can hear the answer, and everyone can talk about things together. Then we all go sit in a circle and talk about whatever topic is lined up. Topics include things we would normally be taking evening classes on. There will be classes on partnering (Bradley method, etc), breast feeding, how to take care of a newborn, all that stuff. The first meeting was about exercise and nutrition. I’m pretty sure that this was a carefully selected topic, intended as an ice breaker. What better way to get a group of pregnant woman talking to each other than bringing them in just before lunch time and having them talk about food? My group is currently 5 couples, from a variety of backgrounds, ages, etc. Despite the diversity in the group, they all sounded pretty much like us. It was nice to hear how these other couples were dealing with feeling overwhelmed and frightened, and how relieved everyone was to be through the worst of the miscarriage fears. It definitely also helped make everything seem possible.

I am ready for the awesomeness that the second trimester is supposed to be!